Guest Post: Jump on your DeLorean, we are traveling back to 1985

Cycling Inquisition staffers proudly watch over our beloved company project, a beautifully restored 4x4 DeLorean. Sorry ladies, Bill from accounts payable (sitting in front of the car) is off the market. He was married (inside the DeLorean) last March.



Since this is my first post on Cycling Inquisition, let me introduce myself real quick-like. I'm Lucho's brother and some of you may know me from our metal blog, Metal Inquisition. My metal credentials are well documented there, of course, but you may be asking yourselves if I'm at all qualified to write for this blog. It's a valid question, I guess. I'm not much of a "biking" enthusiast. My bike is worth less than my flat screen TV. I don't have a carbon fiber frame and can't feel the difference between Sora and Ultegra. I don't really care what gear I'm in when I go up some hill. You can call me a Fred, if you want, but, as far as "cycling" (as a sport), I'm far from a poser. I actually saw Bernard Hinault and Greg Lemond wear the awesome La Vie Claire jerseys live on TV. I saw Luis Herrera kick serious ass on Alpe d'Huez and I saw the twilight of Francesco Moser's career. I didn't see that on a $35 cycling DVD from WorldCycling.com, or a highlight reel on Versus. I woke up at 5 am during my summer vacations as a kid and listened to the Tour stages on the radio until 10 am when the TV broadcast started. I cheered for or against Steven Rooks, Raúl Alcalá, Raimund Dietzen, and Ángel Arroyo. I rememeber Eric Vanderaerden, before there was a Tom Boonen and I remember when Panasonic (not Columbia/HTC) ran things in the pelotón. Shit, I even saw Jeannie Longo race before she got all wrinkly. I really want to thank Lucho for allowing me to post on his awesome blog... I got your credentials right here!


Excuse the crappy music in the background, but this is how I lived Cycling as a kid. Awesome footage. Check out how they interview Javier Minguez (Director Sportif), from the motorcycle.


Anyway, because of Cycling Inquisition's links to Metal Inquisition, the relationship between Metal/Punk and cycling has been discussed multiple times here. That's exactly why I thought it was so awesome when I saw a dude wearing an 80s 7-Eleven jersey in the pit at a Misfits show I attended a few days back. I just had to talk to him.



After the show I saw that the dude was moving towards the stage were Jerry Only was talking to people, signing autographs, and taking pictures with teenage girls in brand new Misfits tees. I hate anyone under the age of 30 who wears Misfits shirts. It was a sad sight, but I digress. By the time I got to the guy with the jersey, he'd put on a Campagnolo hat and was looking positively cycley (That's a word I just made up to describe people who look like they know about cycling). I was determined to get to the bottom of the situation. I needed three questions answered:
1. Do you KNOW what you are wearing? I mean, do you know who Andy Hampsten is?
2. How much do you want for the jersey?
3. Why would you wear the jersey to a Misfits show?


Up until a few weeks ago I never thought there would ever be any connection between Misfits and cycling, other then maybe a hipster in Brooklyn pimpin' his fixie with Misfits stickers



So, I approached him and complemented him on the jersey. The first words out of his mouth were "Do you even know who Andy Hampsten is?" That short exchange not only answered my first question, but his breath also confirmed my suspicion that this guy was wasted. I thought that jersey was as good as mine, since I'm very good at persuading drunk people to do stuff for me. Just ask the mothers of my three kids. I tried to finagle the damn thing off his back for a few minutes to no avail. This retard wasn't as drunk as I'd hoped. Our conversation went on and he told me he used to race, but didn't anymore, and how much he liked the Misfits and blah, blah, blah. Before I knew it we had worked our way through the crowd of 20-somethings to the front row. Jerry Only was standing four feet from me and was shaking people's hands. I felt a little silly being the only one not extending my arm, so reluctantly I did and felt his sweaty hand touch mine. It was then that two awesome thoughts popped into my head. The first was to ask Jerry to give Michale Graves (not this Micheal Graves) another chance to sing for the band, to which he replied: "I already have two kids at home, I don't need to take care of another one on the road." Ouch! The second awesome thought was to get drunkie to hand the 7-Eleven jersey to Jerry to get him to sign it. Outside of seeing Chris Barnes riding a Moots wearing ripped jeans and work boots (which is NEVER gonna happen), this was the closest I was ever gonna be to the vortex that the forces of quantum physics form when the worlds of metal and cycling come together.


Readers of the blog may remember this picture, which I took during this years' Tour de France. This image marks one of the few times (aside from Laurent Fignon's hair) that metal and cycling at the highest level have crossed paths. Days after this stage, Armstrong tweeted this. Coincidence? You be the judge.



I turned around and, with a few well chosen words, I convinced the drunk dude to bare his nips and hand the jersey to the aging punk rock icon. Thanks to the magic of modern technology, I was able to capture this amazing moment with my phone. The Misfits and 7 Eleven, together at last.


The nerds at CERN got shit on this reaction.


After the gate to another dimension had closed, and the bond of subatomic particles around the event had once again been restored, I searched for the guy and snapped a pic of the jersey with Only's autograph. And so, my story comes to an end. I know, it sorta' sucks, but c'mon, I single-handedly got an 80s punk rock legend to sign an 80s cycling jersey! This exact event could have taken place in 1985, don't you see!? I'm very proud of myself for having made this happen... and where else in the world could I brag about it than here? Seriously.





_________________________________________________
A few final notes:

If you'd like to follow me on twitter: TheSkullKrusher
And my bike tweets, as well: SKsBike


This is one of the guys I went to the show with. He's awesome!


The Misfits may be old and not as fit as they were 35 years ago, but they are in way better shape than the Misfats.