Hello. Welcome to Cycling Inquistion. What brings you here today? Are you looking for anything in particular? (Part 1)

One of the more interesting aspects of having a blog (aside from the adoring fans, the sizable sums of money that I get paid to do personal appearances, and the vast amounts of free stuff that I get) is keeping tabs on how people end up here. Some of the trends in readership are obvious. For example, when George Hincapie mentioned the blog on his Twitter account, the number of readers went up substantially. When one Mr Bike Snob NYC™ says that readers of his blog should come here while he's ill, well...very many of you did. But really, the most fun aspect of this blog is seeing the things that people enter into search engines in order to end up here. Here are just a few of my favorite entries, some which were used multiple times by people all over the world, in no particular order. Please note that the spelling errors and unusual mix of caps and lower case are the way in which they were entered into search engines by the visitors. My comments, if any, are in italics. Some of these just speak for themselves.

Jens Voigt uncle of Angelina Jolie
Angelina Jolie related Jens Voigt?
This has to be one of my favorite searches. Many variations on the wording of this search have come up over the last two months or so. I know, I know...her dad is actor Jon Voight, but it's still funny to me.

arione saddle pronunciation
Judging by the popularity of this search, I think Fizik should spell the name of their saddles phonetically.

how to make a cool disk wheel out of carbon fibre
Not to get too deeply into semantics here...but have any of you ever seen a home made carbon fiber disk wheel that was NOT cool? Just sayin'.

leather bike saddle for sale in cancun

tOUR dUPONT punch dude right in the face
If you're wondering about this search go here.

what is the movie where that the dude has superpowers in it
I love seeing how different people use Google. Apparently most people use as if it were their roomate who is a bit of an idiot savant. "Hello, Craig? Dude, what's that one movie where this red convertible car gets all jealous and starts killing people? "

blacks in america+electric boogaloo

is it normal to feel a little discomfort in the crotch while working out?

pictures of Pablo escobar in Mexican hat on a bike

what animals did pablo escobar take to colombia and stay here

please find mad max inspired all terrain bicycles
Again, here we have someone that treats Google like a personal butler. I can just picture someone ringing a tiny bell and saying "Yes Jeeves, could you please find some Mad Max inspired all terrain bicycles for me? Thanks, much appreciated." Perhaps that horrible Ask Jeeves search engine was on to something.

how to take care of a Delorean
Some things are so expensive that people say that if you have to ask how much they cost, you can't afford them. Well, similarly...if you have to ask how to take care of your underpowered, stainless steel pseudo-super car...well, you don't even deserve to own one.

can latinos get red hair
Is "red hair" some kind of venereal disease that you get from Irish people's pubes? If so, I hope us latinos can't get it.

what was the least amount you could buy from pablo escobar

Gay professinal cyclists

gay cyclist hot shaved legs

Hot Gay cyclists


Gay cycling

mario cipollini + sexy zebra stripes

Cyclists who are gay

are most cyclist gay

pictures of gay cyclist lycra butt
This is perhaps the most consistent topic that brings people to the blog. I welcome this kind of attention. Any men or women out there who have a fetish for the stupid outfits that we wear, are a few more people less likely to purposefully try to kill us while at the wheel of a car. All these searches reminded me of something. Last week, I went on a ride with two people who were kind enough to let me tag along so I could serve as a lead sinker/anchor during their ride. A couple of hours in, I felt a certain hunger and asked if we could please stop so I could snack. They agreed, since they too wanted a quick break. We found a crappy parking lot on the side of a road that went through a rough industrial kind of neighborhood. Half way through our break, I looked over and noticed that the car closest to us had a guy on the driver's seat who was clearly getting either a hand job or a job of some kind that had to do with his man-junk. Tired, and not willing to find another spot for our break, we sorta' just decided to finish our food in peace. As we rolled out, I suddenly wondered...the guy saw us, but didn't really have the woman stop. Did we perhaps enhance his experience? Maybe. If so...good for him. So it goes.

Stay tuned for Part 2

Extra credit:
I've mentioned before how difficult it is for Colmbian citizens to travel anywhere in the world. No countries, except for some spanish-speaking ones, want us. We have to get visas to go pretty much anywhere, which can sometimes take as much as a year. Even after waiting that long, Colombians are often rejected and never given a reason. Victor Hugo Peña nearly didn't make it to the Tour the year he got to wear the yellow jersey for this very reason. He was held at gunpoint in his house in Colombia and robbed. They took his passport, and thus his visa. The french government refused to issue another visa, and Peña was very close to illegally entering France through Spain. In the last minute, the Colombian government intervened, and the matter was settled only days before the start. Little has changed. Only days ago, the Colombian cycling team was unable to compete in Malaysia for this very reason. They finished the Tour of Cuba, tried to go to Malaysia to race, but no dice. This is common for those of us from small, developing countries. Colombia, however, clearly has a worse reputation than most other countries...and thus, visas are a huge problem for us. Thanks to Juan David for the heads up on this one.

Lastly, as I do every other Monday, I'd like to remind you that my brother has a new podcast up. Go, enjoy and be merry.