Ask the expert

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On Monday, I posted some of the questions that I'm often asked by my readers. As a result of that post's popularity, I've received several emails over the last couple of days with other questions that readers would like me to answer. Admittedly, some of these questions fall beyond my primary areas of expertise, but I've gone ahead and answered them anyway. Not knowing about a subject has never stopped me from writing about it, this blog being a prime example of that notion. As such, I may consider making this a regular feature on the blog.


Question:
I'm new to cycling, and thus often hear terms from fellow riders that I'm simply not familiar with. One such term is "bike porn". Is this a literal, or a figurative term? Please help.

- Confused
New Jersey


Answer:
First of all, I can't blame you for being confused, particularly since you're from New Jersey. If I lived in a state whose name was used as a Bon Jovi album title, the whole world would seem odd and confusing to me. Having said that, I'd like to tell you that the term "bike porn" is usually not meant literally. I say "usually" because there is a small percentage of cyclists for whom the term is exactly what it sounds like. You may not readily recognize who these individuals are, but as you ride more, you'll begin to see the obvious signs that denote one who takes the term literally. See the image below as an example. Keep your eyes open, and remember to always use handlebar plugs for your bike's safety. Best of luck.






Question:
Lucho, I have a twelve year old daughter, and I'm afraid that she'll soon be interested in boys. Is there anything I can do to keep these interests at bay?

John
Madison, WI


Answer:
Yes John there is, and it's simple. Have her look at this picture of Izidro Nodal. She'll be so repulsed by men that she'll be throwing up well into her early twenties.

You're welcome.







Question:
Lucho, do you wear white bib shorts? Why, or why not?

Simon
Melbourne


Answer:
Simon, I don't. Why? Because not everyone needs to know if I'm circumcised.




Question:
Dear Lucho, I was raised to believe that God is benevolent. It's for that reason that I don't understand why there's so much war and suffering in the world. How can we explain the Holocaust, genocide, starvation, famine, plagues, Dane Cook's career or the band Nickelback's existence?

Martin
Toronto


Answer:
Martin, god is indeed benevolent. But can you blame him for trying to kill us, when a human being actually had his bike custom painted like this?





I can't.
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