Single-handedly rethinking the world of cycling accessories. It's tough job, but someone has to do it.


Before we start today's post, allow me to mention that I'll be in Belgium for the Tour of Flanders in a couple of weeks. Should any fans of the blog who are simply dying to meet me (are there any other kinds of fans?) find themselves at this race, simply tap me on the shoulder if you see me and I'll be happy to give you an autograph free of charge. You'll be able to spot me rather easily, I'll be the short guy with adult braces and a sizable entourage. Come by and say hello. But for now, let's get on with today's post, shall we?

As I mentioned before in a previous post, in the last few months I've been considering different merchandising opportunities for the blog. For different reasons, all my ideas have failed. First, no shoe manufacturers were willing to take on my high-top cylcing shoe idea...and several actually laughed at me when I showed them my prototype (Sidi, I'm looking in your direction). Their loss.

Not discouraged, I forged ahead, but during my latest trip to San Francisco, I was simply unable to find the Rice-A-Roni headquarters, and thus my dreams of having a Cycling Inquisition signature boxed rice were dashed.

Since I'm not one to give up (aside from that one time playing soccer in recess when my classmate Roberto hit me in the face so hard that I had the lines from the soccer ball imprinted in my face a day later), I've decided to continue my search. Inspired by the manner in which bike companies produce frames these days (that is...they simply buy them from a factory and put a sticker on them) I decided to visit several bike related trade shows in search of a ready made solution that I could simply stitch or screen the blog's name into, thus allowing me to sell millions of units, and thus allowing me to finally buy a second Rolls Royce Phantom. Lucky me, at a recent tradeshow, I found the Holy Grail. Literally...someone was selling DVD bootlegs of movies outside the convention center, and I bought a copy of Monty Python's Holy Grail. Aside from that though, I did find the very cycling-related item I was looking for. Behold...the thong cycling glove.

(Via Velogogo)

Allow me to ask you this: do you find full-fingered gloves to be uncomfortable while riding? Are fingerless gloves too unwieldy for you? If so, why not consider this thong-inspired leather number? Why should ladies have all the fun? This glove combines the popular appeal of the thong, with the comfort of a riding glove, and the Italian craftsmanship needed to make a Pinarello frame in Taiwan. Just imagine this stylish number with a Colombian flag embroidered on it, with "Cycling Inquisition" along the top part of the thong. Amazing and fashionable, right? And it's a show stopper. Since so many cyclists crave attention, and want to be rewarded for riding a bike, just imagine how thrilled everyone at work will be when you shake their hands sporting this leather thong on your hands. Not since the introduction of Thocks, have the worlds of female underpants and men's accessories been combined so flawlessly.

Don't miss out, pre-order now. Cycling Inquisition Thongloves™ will be shipping around early April, in time for Paris-Roubaix. If wearing a thong on your hand doesn't make you think about riding the cobbled classics, I don't know what will. Operators are standing by.