Image enhancement, incriminating footage, and Vino making pasta

Long-time readers of the blog may remember a character I unknowingly photographed during my 2010 trip to Paris-Roubaix, who I lovingly refer to as Turbo-Euro:


Turbo-Euro wears Oakley knock-offs from Canal Street for your protection. Why? Because if you were to look directly into his Turbo-Eyes, you would loose consciousness and turn into one of the many cobbles that lines the Arenberg Forest (much like that one Biblical story)




Today, as I was looking through the pictures I took during that trip, I came upon another one that featured Turbo-Euro's intense and fierce visage. Much like the first image (above) this one showed him staring at me directly. Look closely at the picture below, and you'll certainly find him. It's a bit like Where's Waldo...when you see him, you'll rightfully rejoice. Pro tip: look for his signature Euro-Scowl™.





In case you didn't see him, I've zoomed in on his angry Turbo-Face™ with my photo editing software's "enhance" function. See below.




There he is. I assure you that although I've zoomed in on his face, the image was not Photoshoped. He just happens to only have one facial expression, which is apparently directed at me at all times. L
astly, let's look at those two images, with the second one now flipped horizontally, in order to fully show the similarity between the two.




Move over Zapruder film, Turbo-Euro is the new big dog in town. Oh, and speaking of incriminating footage that is used in large-scale investigations, you might remember that I posted a few seconds from this year's Paris-Tours race, after I found something rather unusual happening near the finish.




Well, it turns out that the rider in said footage is now in trouble with French police over the incident. Sadly, my investigative reporting and liberal use of the "enhance" feature on the original footage is not mentioned anywhere on that article. I've been forgotten once again. Let's just hope that when they finally catch Turbo-Euro for staring at tourists menacingly (and possibly turning them into cobblestones), the press will more readily acknowledge my involvement in the matter.

Speaking of mindless staring and lifeless stones, did you see Alexander Vinokourov's acting debut?



Note the one piece of pasta that stubbornly refuses to go into the pot of boiling water. Vino was not pleased by this act of defiance, and quickly made the piece of pasta go into early retirement against its will.


On to a completely different topic, I wanted to take a minute, but not to tell you about how I became the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. Instead, I want to thank some of the blogs and people who have kindly directed traffic to my lowly corner on the interweb. From time to time, I curiously check to see how people end up here, and more often than not, it's one of these places that referred them here. They are (in no particular order):


All Hail The Black Market
Mr Stevil has been very kind to me, and didn't even laugh at my adult braces when we met in San Francisco earlier this year. Can a man in my position ask for anything more?

The Inner Ring
Like you, I don't really know who is behind this blog...but the fact that he put a link to my blog on his sidebar continues to bring traffic to Cycling Inquisition, for which I'm extremely thankful.

Mr Bill Strickland
Herr Strickland is kind of a big deal. He has been kind enough to mention this blog on his Twitter account several times, thus driving a good few of you here.

Bikesnob
The largest spikes in readership that this blog sees are all courtesy of Bikesnob, who is without a doubt a big macher in the blogging universe. It was interesting to see that the number of people who came here after George Hincapie mentioned the blog on Twitter a while back was nearly tripled a week later when one Mr Bikesnob made a similar remark on the popular social media service. That means that Mr Bikesnob is more important than George, and thus very likely to win Paris Roubaix. Oh, I should also mention that Bikesnob was kind enough to not laugh at my bike when I rode with him through the streets of Manhattan some time ago.


Cycling Tips
This blog is written by a guy who lives in some sort of bizarro world where winter is summer and summer is winter. He tried to explain this to me (something having to do with jet streams, gulf streams, or chamois creams), but I didn't fully get it. Perhaps I didn't understand because this blog bills itself as a "journal", thus making it way outside my reading comprehension (which is roughly that of a third grader).

Skullkrusher
He's my brother. His Twitter account, and podcast continue to bring this blog much needed readership. The fact that he still talks to me, even after I told this story about him pooping his pants is a testament to how great of a person he is.

Boulder Report
I thought Boulder Report was the name of a scholarly journal that my father-in-law (a geologist) subscribed to. Not so. Turns out that it's a cycling blog that continues to send readers my way, while providing quality content that simply can't be found in other places. Now if they could just lower the number of ads for subscribing to Bicycling Magazine on the blog to only thirty per page...

Bike Jerks
I don't know who runs this blog, although it appears to be from Minneapolis. I don't know much about Minneapolis, except that Prince lives there. I don't know much about Prince, except that I may or may not be taller than him. Bike Jerks has been sending readers to Cycling Inquisition almost from the very start of this blog. Perhaps it's just a few people who use their site to get to blogs, because they haven't learned how to use the bookmarking function on their browser...but I'll take the clicks anyway I can get them.

Gage + Desoto
I've never met Mike, who runs this blog and cycling empire in person, but he seems like a fantastic guy who probably has above-average hygiene and good posture. Like the other blogs and people on this list, he has consistently sent readers my way for some time.

Matt Rendell
Matt has been incredibly kind and generous to me in many ways, even though I only met him in person once for all of ten minutes. Every time he mentions the blog on Twitter, I see a nice group of people who end up here as a result.

Hampsten Cycles
Ever since I interviewed Andy Hampsten, the blog for the bike company that he and his brother run has consistently sent people my way. For some, Andy's courageous ride over the Gavia pass remains a high point in his career. I disagree. While that moment was certainly of great importance, I think Hampsten Cycles putting a link to my blog on theirs will be seen by historians as having a much greater impact in the long run. Seriously.


I may have forgotten others, but these are the ones that most readily come to mind as a result of the ongoing traffic they bring. So now let me ask you, how did you first come to this blog?